DLEAO

>I finally had my mmf threesome. milestone, guys.

>It’d be safer if I just deleted everyone’s number because I make bad decisions when I’m drunk

>wow, I’ve been going home after work every night and I haven’t had sex in a week. I’ll be back to my normal self next weekend (hopefully), chicago ✌️


Florida Kilos by Lana Del Rey

>I’m talking to this p cool guy who’s into meat, movies, and whiskey. the things is: he says really terrible shit. He seriously thinks he’s probably charming, though. he compared me to heroin and called me a “sexy french spy” idgi. he’s also a fairly rich 30 something so he probably thinks he can say whatever he wants.

>last night I had 6 jamos neat at slippery slope and danced. I also agreed to going on serious dates w 2 separate guys. one offered to buy me clothes so I can look “extra pretty” *eye roll*

Anonymous: Haven't been home since Thursday? Sounds like someone is on quite the adventure! What kind of hi jinx are you having?

(keep in mind I work 4pm-11pm/4pm-1am on weekends) I wrote pretty much everything about last friday night except the part where I was super cashed at this show at cole’s and got up on stage. people told me they were into it, but I rly don’t want to see the footage from that night haha saturday I went to this guy’s house where I had beers w him and his roommate. he said he was looking forward to cuddling w me, but I fucked him instead. sunday I smoked a lot and had wayyyyyyy too much of that old grand-dad. so my friend and I just sat in her living room feasting on middle eastern food and watching Under the Skin. monday I hung out w this guy and we drank beers by the lake and had coffee.

h4ri: I assume you can speak a little spanish, is this true?

I’m actually fluent

>this girl at work said that a guy tried getting her to fuck w out a condom by telling her he never uses one. Like… how is this guy that dumb idgi. i also havent been homes since thursday.

Anonymous: Are you having regret because you didn't do anything?

Probably. I mean I slept on this guys bed and I didn’t even have sex w him, but I’m actually glad I made that decision so I’m rly confused

>when you’re out and someone you’re not interested in starts talking to you and essentially cockblocks you because everyone assumes you’re together *sigh*

>omg I almost forgot that I flagged a cab but these two russian dads picked me up and I didn’t even realize they weren’t a cab until later and they were rly concerned w driving me home, but I was going to someone else’s house so my friend kept yelling at these guys through my phone and one was just like “don’t worry. I drive her.”